Musical Confessions

As I sit here listening to KMFDM, I wonder how I got here...I've always had a love for music...blah blah blah...since I was a kid...blah blah blah...But I was a weird kid. See, lots if not most kids like songs in a major key. How do I know this? Listen to little kids songs. They're mostly in major key. But I being the odd wee thing that I was liked my songs in minor key. My personal favorite was the Leprochaun Song I had on a red tape that I played over and over again (I still have that tape somewhere in a box...) and that I can find nowhere else...so you lot will never hear it...unless you convince me to sing. But you cant! Ha!

In any event, yah...minor key has always been a plus. Not to say that a bit of major key here and there isn't nice but...well, if you listen to my iTunes, it's mostly depressing stuff. And screaming, but we'll address that later.

As I got older and stopped listening to the things that my mom listened to (for like a year during Radio Disney's hayday) i began to discover further my taste in music. By middle school, my taste had expanded into The Beatles and other lovely things like that. Slowly, it turned to Celtic, and I must admit that the slow tremble of the violin string still makes my throat constrict with tears. But I'm not as into Celtic anymore.

In the 11th grade, I had been stumbling around the internets (youtube more specifically) searching, I believe, for Advent Children stuff. That's when I found it...Vanila by Gackt...I fell in love instantly. I continued my search by clicking on the link to Shiroi by Malice Mizer (Gackt was a part of Malice Mizer back in the day). I watched the video, saw Mana playing the violin and thought to myself "that has to be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!"

Ahahahaha...upon reading the comments and seeing similar sentiments as mine, I soon learned that Mana was, and is masculine. "How can this be? A girl as beautiful as she could not be a man....surely the internet is fucking with me yet again. I will not fall into such a trap". To Wikipedia I went and sure enough all the members of Malice Mizer, including Mana-sama are men. "But wait, who is this...'Malice-Mizer'...wh

at do they do? Shiroi was an amazing song! I must know more!" . Clicka-clicka-clicka...before you knew it, I was changed forever. I needed more, I craved more Visual Kei....and now look at me. I love Candy Spooky Theater and Deathgaze. Gazette and D'espairs Ray are amazing as well. And I'll always have a special place in my heart for Malice Mizer.

But lots of people, my mom included, don't like my music. Or rather, they don't like all of it. See, I like my music a bit screamy...and most people don't. Couldn't tell you why. But it raises issues when sharing a space with another person.

So there you have it. The origins of my musical taste. If it's not Visual Kei, I've probably heard in on the radio. I'm always looking for new stuff. And gregorian chants are fine too.

Various confessions

I entertained the notion of starting up an LJ for my meandering thoughts, but I realized that I really don't know what to say, nor would I keep up with it.

And really, I'd only be doing it for the attention whoring and the hopes of being discovered by a clothing website...leading to, perhaps, getting free clothing from them? Hint-HINT internet gods...

So, first confession is, I suppose, I wish I could be an internet celebrity. Then I'd get free things. And free is always good.

Since free hardly ever happens though, I have a job. Two actually. Both of which will go to my furthering of body mod-ing and revamping of my wardrobe. Because it's not enough to simply enough to have black clothing. All goths wear black, but is the inverse true? No. In fact, not all goths wear black. I do though. Because it looks slimming. And I have body issues.

Speaking of which, I'm working on loosing weight (again) and for further motivation I've decided to not get any more body mods (not even sizing up my gages) until I loose 10-15lbs. Probably 10, 'cause I really want a fucking tattoo. And perhaps a belly button piercing. Or a tongue piercing. Whatever. Moar piercings.

For the first time in my life, I'll have money for a good corset. What the hell am I going to do with myself? I'll be flustered for weeks...

In any event another confession: I wish I was smaller. I often feel small, and wish to be a shadow. Then I could just listen and observe people, make notes, and act appropriately when the time comes. What does this have to do with clothes (as that seems to be the main focus of this entry)? If I were small, I could fit more Japanese clothing. Or I could be Sam. She's so fucking adorable...holy shit...even more so with the purple hair. I wish MY hair would do that....but I look terrible blond-ish.

Anyway >__> small=more clothes. Sam=small. Thus Sam=more clothes. Win win. Sam, I'm taking over your body.

Next confession: I can waste hours and hours of time looking at clothes on ebay and longing for the money to have such wonderful things. I have a wishlist of about...153 tab of lolita dresses, jackets and shoes; 20 for socks; and 22 tabs of random other clothes that I find awesome. What has my life become? *whistful sigh*

I want to wear makeup more, but I really don't have time in the morning. Unless I want to wake up an hour earlier...then I'd be a bitch the rest of the day. Not worth it. Also, since most if not all goth make up (and hair for that matter) tips are for those of a paler complexion than mine, my makeup styles are more of an experiment than a fool proof method. So I'd need time to mess up and not look like an idiot. A weekend perhaps. But weekends are full of homework...