Oh. My. God

So recently, I've been cruzing the interent to see what I can see, see, see as far as lolita forums and what not. I already am a part of the Lolita Fashion.org forum, but I was thinking of going to LJ as well and becoming a part of that community. I know they've already built up a community, but I have some experience in lolita and I thought I could hold my own easily.

That was until I found another community loli_secrets. I have never been so appalled in my life. What happened to the beauty of lolita? What happened to the acceptance? What happened to it being about a bunch of girls and young ladies who came together for similar reasons and put their differences aside?

All I see is "Fat/skinny/white/black/asian/ people look the best/the worst in loli" and subsequently "I'm WAY to scared to wear lolita because of what these people on the internet will think of me".  Not to mention "off-brand is the worst. If you're too poor to afford brand, suck it up and get a job or get the FUCK OUT".

This is not the lolita I signed up for. This bitchy, show offy, hating group is what I get enough of in my every day life OUTSIDE of lolita. Lolita was (and still is) my way of adding a bit of beauty to my life but for a lot of other people it seems like a constant oneupmanship, constant bragging, and worst of all, a popularity contest. Lolita isn't high school, lolita isn't a beauty pageant. Lolita is about every girl being a princess and being allowed to feel like she is special and beautiful, regardless of where she comes from or how much money she has.

This is the lolita I remember:

(see what I did there? Sketch a day #2!) It was fun, it was cute, modest and beautiful. This chick would never say that you couldn't play because you were too fat, or too poor. She'd help the newcomers, not tell them how bad they look and laugh at them behind their backs. She wouldn't laugh at other subcultures, or other lolitas just because they were sweet and she was goth (or vice versa). I'm utterly fed up with how this is going and I never want to be a part of those LJ groups.

On the other hand, I have read a lot of complaints about how some of the adults are upset that there is no place for them to be adults in lolita...so I'm thinking of making a group specifically for them on LJ (if it hasn't been done already).

And I won't lie, I want to get a bunch of stuff from F+F and wear it when I get home, but I'm a bit afraid of how I'll be "accepted" in the community, especially since there is an AP and a BSSB at home. But as per usual, I have to buck up and take it in stride. If people are going to call me an "ita" because I wear off brand, then they've missed the point of lolita all together.